How to Make a Crop Circle How to Make a Crop Circle . . Crop circles (a generic term for the phenomenon of flattened plants) form in many areas of the world, with visual effects ranging from irregular shapes to amazing geometric patterns. The source of their formation is surrounded by controversy , but there are some crop circles out there that have definitely been made by people. If you've ever wanted to explore making crop circles as a skill and an art form, here's how! Steps 1. Choose a legal location for your crop circle. Obtain permission from the land owner before you start planning. Ideal choices are sloped fields that rise from public vantage points (a road for instance), or even an amphitheatre-like valley. 2. Touching circles form a basic design.. Enlarge Touching circles form a basic design.. Plan your crop circle using a large scale map, to ensure access for both you and your audience. Plot your straight-line or circular design. Mark on the map the directions you will be flattening, to avoid visible signs of passage (inexperienced circle makers can spoil a design by leaving stripes like a lawnmower would). Initial access is normally through existing farm tracks and trails, so note the position of them before you start. 3. True non-spherical curves are much harder to achieve, and rarely if ever witnessed.. Enlarge True non-spherical curves are much harder to achieve, and rarely if ever witnessed.. Create your design on computer, and make amendments until you have the design you can be proud of. Use inspiration from state-of-the-art designs as seen on the internet (see External Links). Practising shape-making in the field will only result in people seeing your mistakes. Start simple: consider making your first crop circle from an arrangement of spheres in a geometric formation. More advanced curved lines can be created by overlapping partial circlular arcs. 4. Equip each member with the equipment listed under Thing's You'll Need. 5. Once in the field, use measurements to place markers exactly. Your friends can help you place markers, make line-of-sight calculations, and lay the rope to mark areas for flattening. 6. Using constuction lines to make more complex shapes.. Enlarge Using constuction lines to make more complex shapes.. Make construction lines by laying rope outlines to shapes. Then flatten circles at the intersection points. To make the shown example formation, create a rope outline of a equilateral triangle, and create flattened circles at the triangle corners. Avoid flattening over the rope, to create an implied triangle. 7. There are two methods commonly used to flatten: * Plank Flattening - use a roped plank (see Thing's You'll Need) to flatten by holding the rope or looping it over your shoulders. Press forwards and down by keeping one foot on the plank. Advance using a shuffling gait. * Using a roller - some circlemakers prefer using a light roller (available from garden centres) to speed up flattening. 8. Keep on flattening until you have completed your design and have a really nice, well-made complex formation. 9. Wait for the media to spot the new formation. This may take several days, or you can speed the process by making an anonymous call. A good design will provide local newspapers with many column-inches of speculation. Tips * For best results you should probably spend more time planning the crop circle than actually making it. By carefully planning the design, working out what equipment is needed, and discarding ideas that will be difficult or impossible to achieve, you can reduce the scope for embarrassing errors. * Flatten during a dry period, to avoid churning up mud. * Try to use the cover of night. Remember that ideally you should be finished by dawn, when you can take a picture of the pristine design before swarms of "croppies" come and trample all over it. * To leave an 'authentic' crop circle of cosmic orgins: o Bend some stalks around by exposing them to a blue light source for a few hours. Applying small amounts of natural gum or plaster will lock their new shape. Sadly this approach may not satisfy a detailed or scientific inspection. o Create swirled nests in the flattened areas by your clever weaving of stalks. o Also, melt some iron filings into droplets on site and sprinkle them around the flattened area to leave 'meteorite particles' and magnetised stalks. Warnings * Crop circle art is like graffiti for 'cerealogists', often undertaken without permission. Be careful, as unsurprisingly most farmers do NOT want damage to their property. Crop circles damage a portion of the crop, and although farmers can charge spectators to see the finished result, it's better to operate within the law. * The amount of crop flattened need not be excessive to make a strong impression of shape and form. In fact, you should not plan to flatten a larger area destructively, and it had better be beautiful or you can expect criticism and opposition. Things You'll Need * A light plank (4-6 feet in length) with a rope (10-12 feet) knotted through holes in each end. Alternatively, you may prefer to buy a light garden roller from a garden centre. * A big ball of rope or nylon string (pre-stretched) * Marking pole * Protractor for measuring angles * Measuring tape (100 ft) * Night-vision goggles (optional) * Laser-pointer to assist placing markers (optional)

25 acts you must see this summer

according to the (sniff) London Observer: With the ever-expanding festival season about to kick off, OMM writers pick the bands you can't afford to miss in fields, in stadiums or at sweaty clubs across Britain - while some of the top stars tell us just what we can expect from them Sunday May 20, 2007 Observer Music Monthly 1. Prince He breezed into London this month to announce an unprecedented 21 gigs in the capital this August - oh, and every ticket would cost £31.21, a reference to the title of his last album, for which you'll also receive a copy of his forthcoming studio opus. Four words: bargain; of; a; lifetime. Just in case anyone was in any doubt, two days after the press conference (where he amused, once more, by talking about his Bible studies), Prince staged a surprise gig at Koko in Camden. He played for almost two hours with his absurdly slick band, throwing in classics like 'Kiss' (with the line about watching Dynasty updated to reference Desperate Housewives) and 'U Got the Look' alongside covers of Sly and the Family Stone, Amy Winehouse (with talk of a future duet on stage) and Gnarls Barkley. Guitar pyrotechnics, flamboyant dance moves, slapstick comedy - the only thing the 48-year-old 5ft 2in genius failed to get right was a stage dive. At the end, he came back on stage to announce that the August shows will be the best you'll ever see. Best believe him. Caspar Llewellyn Smith Article continues Where: 21 dates in London, including 7 nights at 02 Arena, from 1 Sep 2. The Good, the Bad & The Queen The only one of Damon Albarn's solo projects ever to be praised by Noel Gallagher, the Good, the Bad & the Queen showed themselves to be a riveting proposition from the moment they made their official debut in a televised BBC Electric Proms show at the Roundhouse in Camden late last year. The chemistry between Damon Albarn and the rest of the band - the Clash's Paul Simonon, Afrobeat virtuoso Tony Allen and the Verve's Simon Tong - seemed combustible at that first gig, with Albarn berating them at points. 'It's probably even more combustible now,' says Simonon, 'but the casing is a lot stronger. At first Damon was surrounded by keyboards, effects and pedals. I thought he needed to be confronting the audience rather than lost in keyboard hell, so we got Mike Smith, who also works with Gorillaz, in to play them and that freed things up a lot.' Underpinning the live shows is the marvellously fluid and limber rhythm section of Simonon and Allen. 'The musicians Tony's played with in the past have generally been far superior to me, technically,' explains Simonon. 'They tend to 'match in', which is a style where the bass and the drums keep up with each other, whereas my approach - which comes from reggae and punk - is the complete opposite, and entails leaving a lot more space. I think Tony quite liked that, once he got used to it.' If The Good, the Bad & the Queen aren't going to be the funkiest festival act this summer, Arcade Fire are going to have to stop flirting with that new crunk direction and actually commit to it. Ben Thompson Where: Tower Music Festival, London, 9 July; Electric Picnic, Ireland, 7 Aug; Latitude, 14 Sept 3. The Jesus & Mary Chain Standing stock still under a fierce sun at the Californian desert festival Coachella, Jim and William Reid scowled as only they can. Jim looked like a Glaswegian hard man recently released after a 10-year stretch; William like a lag recently released from a pie shop after a lock-in. Both, as ever, wore black. Nine years since their last gig, after they collapsed in a tumult of 'too much drink, too many drugs' in 1998, JAMC are back. Age hasn't mellowed them. They still have, magnificently, something of the night about them, even when performing under scorching desert sun. The April skies that shone on the performances of 'Never Understand', 'Sidewalking' and 'Far Gone and Out' simply highlighted the genius of the eldritch pop songs the Brothers Grim tossed out in their late Eighties heyday, when they weren't fighting each other or destroying their kit. Apparently there's a new album in the offing. Until then, catch the original indie bad boys back on home turf. I predict a (good-natured) riot. Craig McLean Where: Meltdown, 22 June; Connect festival, Argyll, 31 Aug; Electric Picnic, Ireland, 1 Sept 4. Klaxons By the end of the festival season, Klaxons should have silenced their critics. For when you clear away the face paint and glowsticks from the most hyped indie band of the year, you're left with an incredible, subversive pop group. Jaimie Hodgson Where: Wireless, London/Leeds 16/17 June; Glastonbury, 22 June; T-in-the-Park, Kinross, 7 July; Oxygen, Ireland, 8 July; Leeds/Reading, 24/26 Aug 5. Muse People used to refer to Muse as the greatest live band on Earth - and then add a cautionary question mark. Now the debate is pretty much over - fourth album, Black Holes and Revelations, having opened their fanbase to both grown-ups and girls by adding funk to their weaponry. If you haven't yet witnessed their show - think Black Sabbath rammed through Satan's own van der graaf generator - now would be the time to get hold of a ticket. For their Wembley stadium gigs this summer, the production is the only restriction on their imagination. 'It depends on what we can get away with with Brent Council,' reveals Matt Bellamy. 'We wanted to fly a blimp over, but there are things we can't do when Health and Safety get involved. We'll do what we can. Because most people will be looking down, the most important thing is to design a gig that looks upwards, so I was thinking of trying to build some sort of hidden message into the way the stage is laid out.' Dan Martin Where: Isle of Wight festival,9 June; Wembley stadium, 16/17 June; Oxygen, Ireland, 7 July 6. Cajun Dance Party If you are not adverse to euphoric scenes of youthful abandon that'd make McFly feel long in the tooth, then north Londoners Cajun Dance Party are a must-see this summer. The teenage quintet's breezy indie pop gems have already caused the biggest A&R catfight of 2007, and their gigs have become something of a rites of passage for any pubescent scenester with their finger on the pulse. Theirs is a sound as suited to the summer festival circuit as pear cider, so their timely Glasto slot should is looking like one of the festival's buzz performances. Go and catch them while they're still more than just another tiny silhouette on cavernous stage. Where: Glastonbury, 22 June; Underage Festival, London, 10 Aug 7. Dizzee Rascal Having appreciated the extent to which even his most illustrious rap peers were failing to rise to the challenge of playing outdoors, Dizzee Rascal combined the widescreen dynamics of stadium rock with the rough and ready immediacy of an underground garage rave to create an electric live show. BT Where: UK tour 25 May-22 June; T-in the-Park, Kinross, 7 July; Oxygen, Ireland, 8 July; V, Chelmsford/Stafford, 18/19 Aug; Cardiff Calling, 25 Aug, Get Loaded in the Park, London, 26 Aug 8. Gallows 'People are too content to just watch some shit band play their boring songs in a really tedious manner,' fumes Gallows singer Frank Carter, a band on a mission to matter. A lot. 'What kills me is people pay so much money to be disappointed. That, to me, is really insulting. You've got to be excited when you go and see a band, from the minute they walk onstage to the minute they walk offstage, and afterwards.' There's little risk of checking your texts during one of Gallows' brief, passionate sets. The band won't be on the stage, they'll be in the crowd, with Carter bellowing the words to one of his seething songs in the face of anyone who dares fold their arms. Gallows have been creating this havoc since they first started out two years ago, playing near the bottom of any bill that would have them. 'If there was only 20 kids there, we would create this massive circle, so the room looked full,' continues Carter, more softly-spoken in conversation than his Tasmanian devil alter ego suggests. 'And whoever was going on after us was going to be so uninteresting. That was our goal. No matter what your favourite music is, it should be played with passion.' Gallows' no-quarter approach has paid dividends. Word about this intense band trickled up out of the hardcore community last year. Kerrang! called them the most important UK punk band since the Clash. Now, Gallows are signed to Warner's and last year's brutalist debut, An Orchestra of Wolves, is getting a deserved re-release. Gallows' ferocity is not their only asset, however. Sustained squinting at their lyrics sheet reveals former 'bully's wet dream' Carter as a writer whose howls of rage are as thought-provoking as they are deafening. 'Originally me and [Gallows guitarist] Laurent wanted our new band to be a party disco pop band,' Carter reveals, 'but when we started writing songs, we were just not in that mindset!' Kitty Empire Where: UK tour, 17 May-21 June; Download, 9 June; Reading/Leeds (actual day still to be confirmed) 9. Beasie Boys The Beastie Boys are maestros of schizoid genre-busting live shows - over the years, the New York trio haven't been able to decide whether they're a high-speed hip hop tag team, sleazy funk lounge lizards, or hardcore punk renegades. After the old school rap favour of 2004's To the Five Boroughs, this time they've plumped for a 'post-punk instrumental' album. Out in June, The Mix Up, intriguingly, has no samples or vocals. It explains why, alongside their headlining slots at the Electric Picnic and Bestival, they've slotted in second Gala Events to showcase their new tunes. So what can we expect from the Gala Event? 'Basically, you've got to dress to impress,' explains Adam Yauch. 'Don't show up in your dirty knickers and your flip-flops. You should be wearing your finest: black tie if possible.' Middle-aged, but as ludicrous and fun as ever. Sarah Boden Where: Live Earth, Wembley stadium, 7 July; Connect, Argyll, 31 Aug; Electric Picnic, Ireland, 1/2 Sept; Bestival, Isle of Wight, 8/9 Sept 10. Bonde do Role After Cansei De Ser Sexy wooed the UK last year, this year's hottest Brazilian act is Bonde do Role (as featured in 'Flash Forward' in OMM43), who look set to be baile funk's (the Brazlian punky take on Miami Bass) first international stars. The super-cool oddballs from Curitiba sample Manfred Mann and Grease, and are a riot live, as their Astoria gig showcased earlier this year. Luke Bainbridge Where: Touring from 19-31 May 11. George Michael Last year's triumphant return to the arena after almost 20 years of stage-fright wilderness was only a warm-up. 'I told the people building Wembley "I don't care when it happens but I want to open it,"' said Michael. And he is, playing the first gig next month. He remains one of the finest blue-eyed soul singers Britain has ever produced. Ignore the private life brouhaha, and feel the public force. Paul Flynn Where: RDS Arena, Dublin, 6 June; UK tour 9-19 June 12. Black Lips Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Black Lips are cut from a rare cloth. Purveyers of the most riotous brand of good-time rock'n'roll in existence - stories of insane and calamitous onstage debauchery follow them like a bad smell - they're near guaranteed to fulfil every sordid fantasy stirred up by the hype. Their devoted fanbase is brewing in the UK, so their first full UK headline tour should be electric. JH Where: Touring from 31 May-7 June 13. Fairport Convention Cropredy, the original small-scale festival, organised by Fairport Convention, has been rolling since the 1970s. This year sees a poignant reunion of the extended Fairport clan as the 1969 line-up (albeit without vocalist Sandy Denny, who died in 1978) re-unite to play Liege & Lief, an album that became the foundation stone of British folk-rock. Richard Thompson, whose skirling guitar was a central feature of the record, has his own slot with his band. It isn't all fiddles and tankards, however. Jools Holland and Lulu are also on the bill. As are gorgeous countryside and a welcoming family atmosphere. Neil Spencer Where: Cropredy, Oxon, 12 Aug 14. Gogol Bordello Large of 'tache, tight of trouser and somewhat unstable of mind, the Ukraine-born, New York-based Eugene Hutz is the crazed frontman of Gogol Bordello, a roving band of punk rocking gypsies who regularly make audiences dance like they've just swallowed a cask of Hungarian moonshine, laugh like freshly caustic soda-cleaned drains and occasionally run screaming to the nearest exit. The band, made up of six Eastern European immigrant musicians, along with their face-painted and drum thwacking Thai-American and Chinese-Scottish dancers, specialise in creating serious havoc and excel in the great lost art of putting on a damn fine show. On a usual night, Hutz will skip between his gaggle of twisted folk-rock musicians - normally while stripping - before leaping into the crowd and riding a bass drum back to the stage to join the tumbling dancers. Leonie Cooper 15. Melanie Being a Jarvis Cocker favourite (and one of the artists at this year's Meltdown, which he is curating) paints her as a cult figure, but Melanie Safka is more a savvy survivor than tortured artiste. The singer-songwriter is one of the few acts from the 1969 Woodstock still in business. Her tribute to the festival, 'Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)' started the fad for holding lighters aloft at a show. Now you know who to blame. Yet Melanie was a flower child with an edge. Her hit 'What Have They Done to My Song, Ma' was more Edith Piaf than Joni Mitchell, while her other smash, 'Brand New Key', was mildly risque. Her husky vocals dated fast, but Melanie stayed the course. Having married her producer, Peter Schekeryk, she kept the records and tours coming and inducted her son, a talented guitarist, into her show. At 60, she is a good advertisement for the Aquarian Age. NS Where: Meltdown, London, 16 June 16. Led Bib Tapping into the spirit of '79 and the punk legacy of bands like the Clash, Led Bid have recycled the vibrancy and multiculturalism of their east London postcode, and spiced it with some wild jazz improvising and raw electronics. Energised by the drumming of leader Mark Holub, they leap into the musical space opened up by Polar Bear and Acoustic Ladyland for unlikely indie rock bands or maverick jazz bands. We need bands like Led Bib to make the world safe for dangerous music. Stuart Nicholson Where: Royal Festival Hall, London 8 June; Chelsea Festival, 24 June; Boat Tring, London 20 Aug; Norwich Arts Centre, 24 Aug 17. Arctic Monkeys For their first festival appearance of the summer, Arctic Monkeys came on in the 90 degrees Californian sunset at Coachella, with Alex Turner looking crisp in a striped white Fred Perry. 'Everyone looks a bit tired,' Turner said before 'From The Ritz To The Rubble'. 'Everyone looks a bit worn out - it's only just started.' They played four tracks from their second album Favourite Worst Nightmare, with 'Fluorescent Adolescent' already the stand-out. Turner professed to have enjoyed it - 'It's been an absolute pleasure, ladies and gentlemen', but it was difficult to know what the Californians made of references to Mecca bingo halls and Rotherham. Back on home turf this summer, adoration will come a little easier. It should be like Reading and Leeds last year: a huge singalong, much flag-waving, that great communal raging pop moment where life just all comes together, and we may quite reasonably believe that it will never get any better. 'This summer, I'm really looking forward to Glastonbury,' says bassist Nick O'Malley, 'I've never been. We've got a day off so we're able to spend some time there and I'm up for doing some camping. We'll be planning something special for our own headline gigs, but I'm not sure what yet.' Any Arctic Monkeys top festival tips? 'Take baby wipes, definitely.' Simon Garfield Where: Malahide Castle, Dublin, 16/17 June; Glastonbury, 22 June; T-in-the-Park, Kinross, 6 July; Lancashire County Cricket Ground, 28/29 July 18. Chemical Brothers Chemical Brothers' reputation owes as much to their electrifying live show, all thunderous techno and explosions of light, as their studio output. They have a heavy festival schedule, but the key date is Glastonbury, the reprise to a string of iconic performances that began in 1997 and ended with them headlining in 2000. Chris Cottingham Where: Roundhouse, London, 31 May; Rockness, 9 June; Glastonbury, 24 June; Creamfields, 25 Aug; Bestival, 7 Sept; Trafalgar Square, London, 9 Sept 19. The White Stripes If you're a little unsure of whether the two-bit White Stripes can make a big enough noise to fill a festival headline stage, then you obviously have never seen them on one. And what nobody's seen yet is just how much noise they can make with their nuclear-powered new collection Icky Thump. Rest assured, its brave, heavy metal redrawing of their blueprint should have eardrums shattering in the furthest back rows. DM Where: Wireless, London, 14 June; Wireless, Leeds, 15 June 20. Bjork Bjork is back. On her new record, Volta, she's rediscovered propulsive beats and songs, but the beats are still largely arrhythmic, propelling a proudly challenging music. The live set-up she unveiled at Coachella was spellbinding. The brass band that wanders over much of Volta worked beautifully on a big stage. The fierce pound of 'Army of Me' and new single 'Earth Intruders' were industrial-soul triumphs. Visually, too, she didn't disappoint, wearing a high-rise tea-cosy head-dress and a Hawaiian-style, multi-coloured skirt-thingy. All the while she skipped - barefoot and delighted and lost - amid a whirl of neon and against a backdrop of female musicians in a rainbow array of costumery. An all-round sensory, multi-disciplinary feast that will be perfect for Glasto. CM Where: Glastonbury, 22 June; Electric Picnic, Ireland, 31 Aug; Connect, Argyll, 2 Sept 21. Tinariwen Asked to sum up Tinariwen, Justin Adams, Robert Plant's guitarist, who produced their last album, said 'The Velvets? Sonic Youth? Howling Wolf? in maximum fuzz mode? All of the above, but African, always African.' LB Where: Glastonbury, 24 June; Exeter Festival, 25 June; Lovebox, London, 22 July; Womad, 29 July 22. Aerosmith The oldest member of Boston's rock royalty, singer Steven Tyler turns 60 next year, and persistent health problems have prevented the band from touring Europe for the best part of a decade. Lead guitarist Joe Perry is understandably excited about their first British show in eight years, 'We really feel like we have something to prove to you guys,' he says. 'As a band, we're getting pretty close to the end. And while we've had some amazing shows in the States recently, and we know we can still rock, if you're not going to play London you may as well quit now.' Perry and Tyler were once nicknamed 'The Toxic Twins' for their excesses, but it's the band's solid gold back catalogue that has ensured a place in the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame. Of their live formula, Perry explains: 'It's all about the tension. With rock'n'roll it has to feel like a train almost coming off the tracks.' JH Where: Hyde Park, London, 24 June; Marley Park, Dublin, 26 June 23. North Sea Radio Orchestra First there was Godspeed! You Black Emperor's brooding magnificence. Then the sinister euphoria of the Polyphonic Spree. Now those in search of a compellingly populous audio-visual proposition can thrill to the ethereal magic of Craig and Sharron Fortnam's London-based chamber ensemble NSRO, whose exquisite pastoral settings of works by British romantic poets should have the Green Man festival at their mercy. BT Where: Roundhouse, 1/2 June, Green Man Festival, Wales, 17 Aug 24. Battles The avant-garde math-rock super-group known as Battles are one of this year's surprise indie-land success stories. Featuring ex-guitarist of pioneers Don Caballero, Ian Williams, and Helmet's notorious ex-tub thumper John Stainer, the group have created an individual blend of jazz experimentation, hypnotic math riffage, and other-worldly electronics. Their live show is already wowing muso audiences the world over. JH Where: UK tour 20-25 May 25. Spinal Tap 'I don't think they know that much about global warming,' says Marty DiBergi (aka director Rob Reiner) of his favourite rockumentary subjects Spinal Tap, who are reforming for Al Gore's Live Earth extravaganza. 'Nigel [Tufnel] figured it was because people were wearing too many clothes, and if they took off their jackets things would be a lot cooler. David [St Hubbins] did begin to do a little research, but then Derek [Smalls] pointed out that any time you can get together and play some loud music to save the earth, it's a good thing.' The legendary British heavy metal outfit, immortalised in Reiner's 1984 movie, have written a brand new song for the Wembley stadium gig, showing off their sophisticated understanding of the global warming crisis. 'It's called "Warmer Than Hell",' elaborates DiBergi, 'and here's a sample of the lyrics: "The devil went to Devon/ Felt like the fourth degree/ Said: 'Is it hot in here/ Or is it only me?".' A short film by DiBergi bears witness to the historic reunion (their 26th in 25 years), and explains what the trio are up to these days. Expect miniature Tibetan horses, a hip-hop label with offices in a colonic clinic (Back Alley Productions), and a very nasty internet addiction. And expect nothing less than the chaos of hell itself when the 'Tap hit Wembley. 'Nothing ever goes particularly smoothly with them,' DiBergi concedes. 'But hey, that's just part of their charm.' Killian Fox Where: Live Earth, Wembley stadium, 7 July

tortoise box 3 cds/1 dvd. limited edition package UPDATE ON THE TORTOISE BOX AS OF MAY 23,2007:OUT OF PRINT AND HEADING FOR THE 100.00 MARK ONLINE AUCTION-WISE. first a little background info on this important band: Tortoise revolutionized American indie rock in the mid-'90s by playing down tried-and-true punk and rock & roll influences, emphasizing instead the incorporation of a variety of left-field music genres from the past 20 years, including Krautrock, dub, avant-garde jazz, classical minimalism, ambient and space music, film music, and British electronica. At odds as well with the shambling framework of alternative rock's normal song structure, the group -- as large as a septet, with at times two vibes players -- relied on a crisp instrumental aesthetic, tied to cool jazz, which practically stood alone in American indie rock by actually focusing on instrumental prowess and group interaction. Although the group's unique vision is to an extent the creation of drummer and master producer John McEntire, most of the other members are well-connected -- producers and/or participants -- in Chicago's fraternal indie rock community, which consists of numerous side projects and ongoing bands. After debuting in 1993 with several singles and an LP, Tortoise's underground prestige emerged above terra firma with their second album Millions Now Living Will Never Die; the 21-minute opening track "Djed" was a sublime pastiche of Krautrock, dub, and cool jazz. Tortoise then linked themselves with the cream of European electronica (Luke Vibert, Oval, U.N.K.L.E., Spring Heel Jack) to remix the album on a series of 12" singles. Despite the band's growing reliance on studio engineering, Tortoise began re-emphasizing their instrumentalist bent in 1998 for third album, TNT. First formed in Chicago in 1990, Tortoise began when Doug McCombs (bass; formerly of Eleventh Dream Day) and John Herndon (drums, keyboards, vibes; formerly with the Poster Children) began experimenting with production techniques. The duo intended to record on their own as well as provide an instant rhythm section for needy bands -- inspired by the reggae duo Sly & Robbie. Next aboard was producer/drummer/vibes-player John McEntire and guitarist Bundy K. Brown (both former members of Bastro) plus percussionist Dan Bitney (formerly with the SST hardcore band Tar Babies). The five-piece recorded 7" singles for both David Wm. Sims' Torsion label and Thrill Jockey in 1993, then released their eponymous debut on Thrill Jockey one year later. Much of the album's sound -- restrained indie rock with sublime jazz influences and a debt to prog-rock -- was pleasant but not quite revolutionary. Several tracks took a more slanted course, though, sounding like a reaction to England's ambient/techno scene filtered through the '70s experimentalism of Can and Faust. Tortoise became an underground classic and spawned the remix work Rhythms, Resolutions and Clusters -- remixers Jim O'Rourke, Steve Albini, and Brad Wood -- the album steadily segued from techno and found-sound environment recordings to feedback ambience and hip-hop -- complete with samples of A Tribe Called Quest and Minnie Riperton. In 1995, the group released Gamera, a 12" single on Stereolab's Duophonic label. Brown later left for solo production work and his band projects Slowpoke and Directions in Music; Tortoise added bassist David Pajo (formerly of Slint and also a member of the For Carnation) for second album Millions Now Living Will Never Die, released in early 1996. Much of the album was similar to the debut, but the British weeklies and American music magazines championed the strength of album-opener "Djed" -- which blended a rumbling bass line, scratchy, lo-fi ambience, and dub techniques into over ten minutes of music before the sounds of reel-to-reel tape disintegration introduced another passage of calm yet angular indie rock figures. During the rest of 1995, Tortoise toured with Stereolab in England and headlined a U.S. tour with 5iveStyle and the Sea and Cake. John McEntire also remained busy with production, working on Stereolab's Emperor Tomato Ketchup and eponymous debut LPs from 5iveStyle, Trans Am, and Rome. Instead of a remix album to accompany Millions Now Living Will Never Die, Tortoise optioned tracks out to several techno/experimental contemporaries during 1996. Mo' Wax heroes U.N.K.L.E. recorded a remix of "Djed" on the first of what became a four-volume series, with later interpretations coming from Oval, Jim O'Rourke and Bedouin Ascent, Spring Heel Jack, and Luke Vibert, among others. By the time recording began in 1998 for Tortoise's third album, TNT, Pajo had gone to spend time on his Aerial-M project; a longtime group friend, guitarist Jeff Parker, replaced him. Parker's connection to the fertile Chicago free jazz community (he's a member of the AACM (Association for the Advancement of Creative Musicians)) served as a signpost to the group's new direction: growing instrumental prowess and an emphasis on straight-ahead, occasionally improvisational, indie rock. Tortoise's fourth album Standards, released in early 2001, maintained that direction, only leavened by many post-recording tweakings at the band's Soma Studios. Another three-year gap separated Standards from 2004's It's All Around You. AND THE BOX SET IS CALLED "A LAZARUS TAXON"....Four discs of dispatches from what the New York Times dubbed "the friendlier end of the avant-garde," the three-CD/one-DVD set A Lazarus Taxon is an embarrassment of riches for fans, either of Tortoise specifically or post-rock in general. In the Chicago of 1993, two rhythm-section members deciding to hire themselves out as the indie version of Sly & Robbie had to be considered utter foolishness. But to reflect on ten years of Tortoise is to see the group not as the odd American instrumental group of the post-punk era not influenced by surf or hardcore, but as the logical meeting point of two of the city's prime musical forays: indie rock and avant-garde jazz. Early on, Krautrock and dub appeared to be the two bodies of musical knowledge the group drew on most often; "Gamera," a 12-minute epic from an early EP on Stereolab's Duophonic label, nails a looser, more sincere version of the near-human robotics of Can and Neu!. And from the beginning, John McEntire had begun cementing Tortoise's ties to mid-'90s electronica with his productions, a canny synthesis of labcoat electronics and spacious dub (to say nothing of the group's dabbling, on remix EPs, with enthusiasts such as Oval, Autechre, Luke Vibert, and Nobukazu Takemura). By the beginning of the new millennium, with a bona fide jazz guitarist (Jeff Parker) as a full member of the group, Tortoise could not only quote but wrestle with all manner of instrumental forms; their contribution to a 1999 Red Hot compilation saw them performing a late Duke Ellington composition ("Didjeridoo") as though it had appeared on Miles Davis' Get Up with It or Live at the Fillmore. A Lazarus Taxon functions as an addendum to the band's standard discography, grabbing rare tracks from a wealth of sources, including compilations, benefit albums, tour singles, remix singles, and the continually fan-frustrating import editions. As well, one disc is given over to the early remix album Rhythms, Resolutions & Clusters, definitely a boon for fans (although the disc ends at a mere 37 minutes). The DVD portion balances video clips by innovative filmmakers with live footage of Tortoise's most intriguing performances, including seven songs from a 1996 performance shot by Chris Mills and two from a jazz festival with Rob Mazurek and AACM's Fred Anderson. Those who haven't dug this deep before will discover that Tortoise were a band whose rare material rivalled the popular in quality.

Are you not ashamed? Aohe ou hilahila?foreign phrases for everyday use.

Handy Latin Phrases Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat. (It's not the heat, it's the humidity.) Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! (God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!} Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? (Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?) Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est. (The designated hitter rule has got to go.) Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. (I think some people in togas are plotting against me.) Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris. (If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.) They Thought You'd Say This: Unlikely phrases from real phrasebooks I've always been fascinated by phrasebooks; my parents like to tell the story of my trying to talk to an Italian couple in Syracuse at the age of seven, using nothing but Berlitz Italian. Phrasebooks offer the seductive illusion of mastering a language at little cost-- flip the pages and handle any situation, from booking a room to going on a date to setting a broken leg. Mostly they are little marvels of pragmatic compression. But for that very reason, I like to find the occasional oddity-- sentences you can hardly conceive of ever using, little tidbits of inexplicability in an otherwise ruthlessly disciplined little work. All the following sentences are culled from real phrasebooks. (As opposed to a fake phrasebook.) --Mark Rosenfelder HINDI Lonely planet Can we film here? Zara: ham yahã: filming kar le:? Do you practice safe sex? Kya: a:p ka:ndam ka: istema:l [karte/karti:] hai~? Is there compulsory voting here? Kya: sabhi: logõ ko vot dena: parta: hai? I believe in destiny/fate. Mai~ bha:gyava:di: hu:~. RUSSIAN Berlitz Russian for Travellers I can't do the cha-cha. Ja ne umeju tantsevatj cha-cha-cha. I want a specimen of your urine. Ja vozjmu u vas mochu na analiz. I'd like to buy a pair of binoculars. Ja khotel by kupitj binoklj. I would like some game or fowl. Ja by vzjal dichi ili ptitsy. Here's to future cooperation between our organizations! Za nashe budushchee sotrudnichestvo! I'd like to go to a Komsomol party. Ja khotel by pojti na komsomoljskij vecher. PORTUGUESE Berlitz Portuguese for Travellers Why are you laughing? Porque está a rir? Must I swallow them whole? Devo engoli-los inteiros? GERMAN pocket dictionary; Say It In German I want to rent a deck-chair. Ich möchte einen Liegestuhl mieten. Drive us around for one hour. Fahren Sie eine Stunde herum! Use insecticide. Gebrauchen Sie Insektenvertilgungsmittel. VIETNAMESE Vietnamese Phrasebook 1976 Because I was out buying a pair of wooden shoes. Vi3 toi mec2 mua doi3 guoc2. Take me to the Protestant church. Dya toi den2 ña3 thu3 Tin5-Lañ3. There will be no trouble. Khong sao duu. I like to sleep a lot. Toi thich ngu4 ñieu3. SWEDISH Say It In Swedish 1979 Have you something more attractively furnished? Har Ni något som är trevligare möblerat? Let's take a walk around the botanical garden. Låt oss ta en promenad i botaniska trädgården. Clean and set this wig. Vill Ni tvätta och lägga den här peruken? YIDDISH Say It In Yiddish 1958 Please play a foxtrot. Shpilt, zayt azoy gut, a fokstrot. The firm is bankrupt. Di firme iz bankrot. I need something for a tourniquet. Ikh darf epes oyf a turniket. INDONESIAN Lonely Planet I have my own syringe. Saya punya suntikan saya sendiri. POLISH Penguin Polish phrasebook What do we pay for the children? Ile placimy za dzieci? How does the heating work? Jak dziala ogrzewanie? The villa has been burgled. Bylo wlamanie do willi. May I have peas instead of beans? Czy moge, prosic' o groszek zamiast fasolki? Is evening dress necessary? Czy strój wieczorowy jest konieczny? I will X-ray your teeth. Przes'wietle, panu ze,by. GREEK Harrap's Greek phrasebook I'm absolutely knackered. Eímai ptóma stin koúrasi. He swims like a fish. Kolumpáei san delfíni. SPANISH Barron's Spanish at a glance; Burgess & Bowes Midget Dictionary I have the highest card. Tengo la carta más alta. Is it customary to dine there as well? ¿Se puede comer allá también? When does the parade of the bullfighters begin? ¿Cuándo empieza el desfile de la cuadrilla? I just want to stretch out in the sand. Sólo quiero estirarme en la arena. Is your husband here? ¿Está aquí su esposo? She was born on the 5th July, 1884. Nació el 5 de Julio de 1884. I want the latest edition with gilt edges. Deseo la última edición con cantos dorados. Where is my rug? ¿Dónde está mi manta? Have you found your sea legs? ¿Ya no se marea? KOREAN Lonely planet What is your monthly salary? wôl-gûp-i ôl-ma-im-ni-kka? Don't smoke! dam-bae p'i-u-ji ma-ship-ship-yo! Who lived here? nu-ga sal-ass-jûm-ni-kka? DUTCH This person saw it happen. Deze persoon heeft het gezien. We're having a terrible time. We hebben het helemaal niet naar onze zin. I'm going to prescribe some suppositories. Ik geef u een recept voor zetpillen. CHINESE Fingertip Chinese I can't bear Shanghai in August. Wô shòubùliâo Bayuède Shànghâi. How much rent do you pay? Nî fangzu shì duoshâo? Do you eat this? Nî chi zhège ma? I play the clarinet. Wô lá danhuángguân. The countryside looks very poor. Nóngcun kàngqîlái hên píngqióng. WELSH Get by in Welsh 1979 All the road signs have been pulled down. Mae'r holl arwyddion wedi'u tynnu i lawr. No, I'm taking the little train. Na, rwy'n mynd ar y trên bach. What's the barn in the middle of the field? Beth yw'r ysgubor ar ganol y cae? Cricket is a silly game. Gêm ddwl yw criced. Don't pester the girls in the next tent. Peidiwch â phoeni'r merched yn y babell nesa. She has excellent breasts. Mae bronnau ardderchog da hi. SETSWANA Setswana-English phrasebook 1979 Let it be well rubbed with a rag. A e phimolwê thata ka sebata. Inspan the oxen. Golêga dikgomo. What year is it? Ke ngwaga wa bokaye? Go and pick up the bird. Ya go sêla nônyane. Is this the first time you marry? A ke gônê o émang? Sew nicely with skill. Roka sentlê ka botswerere. HAWAI'IAN Hawaiian phrasebook 1906 Such is the fashion now. O ka paikini ia i keia wa. She also remarked that I ate greedily. Ua hoopuka pu ae la oia, he pakela ai au. It is true, you are wise and we are foolish. He oiaio ua naauao oukou a he poe hupo makou. I will try a small piece of that cold mutton. E hoa'o ana au i apana uuku o kela hipa maalili. How much for that lot of razors, scissors, knives, horseshoes, and yokes? Heaha ko kela puu pahi umiumi, upa, pahi, kamaa lio me na lei-pipi? I had yams and fish for two days, and then I ate fern roots. He ape ne ka i-a ka'u no elua la, a mahope ai au i ka hapuu. Are you not ashamed? Aohe ou hilahila? I am afraid of the war. Makau au i ke kaua. A man was stabbed in the breast last night. Ua hou pahi ia he kanaka ma ka umauma i ka po nei. NEPALI Lonely planet Carry me, slowly. Malai bistaarai bhoknuhos. Where was this cheese made? Yo chij kahaan baneko ho? How many years will you stay in Nepal? Nepaalmaa kati barsa basne? CHECHEN Hippocrene Chechen-English/English-Chechen (1997) (supplied by Mark Wise) Is the bridge still standing? Tsun t'okhal doodush t'ai hintsa lattash dui? Don't shoot! Gerza ma tooghalah'! Can you take me to the minefields? Minii aaree yolcha vugar vari ah'so? SOMALI Somali Handbook (Dunwoody Press, 1992) (supplied by Mark Wise) Do you have any valuables? Wax qiimo leh ma sidataa? Do not be afraid Ha baqin I won't hurt you Waxba kuu dhimi mayo Put your hands over your head! Gacmaha madaxa saar! Are the snakes here dangerous? Masaska halkaan khatar miyaa? I must operate on you Waa inaan ku qalaa We must bury her Waa inaan duugnaa isaga TELUGU Learn Telugu in 30 Days (1986) (supplied by Mark Wise) Don't hear his word. A ta ni ma ta vi na va ddu I am with hungry. Ne nu a ka li to u nna nu Cannot Sir, The price has gone up. Ra dam di, dha ra pe ri gi po yi na di GAELIC Handbook of Gaelic Phrases and Sentences (1939) (supplied by James Campbell) Hand me that hat-box. Sìn thugam am bòsdan sin You will get a candle on the table. Gheibh sibh coinneal air a' bhòrd We shall troll along the coast. Ni sinn sgrìob suas ris a' chladach Are you feeling spry to-day?. A bheil sùrd math oirbh an diugh? Hand me over those moccasins. -- They will not help you much, they are like a singed cat. Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

recommended summer reading: unabomber manifesto INTRODUCTION 1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in "advanced" countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in "advanced" countries. 2. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy. 3. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later. 4. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence: it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can't predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society. 5. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important